We live in a world filled with problems. There are people who have recently lost loved ones, who are suffering from illness, who live below the poverty line, who have nowhere safe or warm to sleep tonight, who don't have access to clean drinking water, who are affected by mental illness or have to look after loved ones who are.
Thousands of people will die from suicide or from relatively easily prevented illness. They will dies because there wasn't enough food to go around, because they couldn't afford to go the hospital or because they were born into a country where they were practically doomed from the start. They will die at the hands of violent criminals or by corrupt governments with draconian laws.
The world itself suffers from a lack of resources, a lack of affordable housing, a lack of hospitable temperatures for humans to easily exist in. We have to deal with rising temperatures, future pandemics, overpopulation and an increasing disparity between the world's richest and it's poorest. We have countries run by religious lunatics or power hungry politicians, neither of whom care one iota for the people who they are supposed to lead.
Every day millions will be bullied, molested, abused, attacked or just made to feel like shit just for being themselves (or for no reason at all). We have conflicts over whose god is better, which country is better and whether women or gay people count as human. There are billions of people on this world who live pretty horrible lives, and if we could I think most of us would do as much as possible to help them out.
If Oprah, a woman with billions of dollars to her name and millions of loyal followers could give one gift to the world, what would it be? Why, the ability to stand still, of course. Who needs food, water, safety, health, love or happiness when you can just stand still?
So fuck you Oprah, fuck you Deepak Chopra and fuck everyone who wants to pretend that sitting still will do anything at all.
Hello everyone. Why, it sure has been a while since I've been on here hasn't it? But hey, what better time for my triumphant return than the night after the Oscars. Actually, since everyone is just talking about The Onion and Anne Hathaway's nipples there may be a decrease in attention towards me. Oh well, nobody giving a shit hasn't stopped me before. But where have I been? Why, Twitter dear friends! I've been tweeting up a storm, as these blogs take ages to do and twitter takes about 8 seconds. TIME IS MONEY, and I am poor. In fact, I just added a delightful twitter widget on the side of the blog right there, so you can see what I'm saying. I'm sure all zero of you who read this blog will enjoy that. So maybe I'll post more, or maybe I won't. Seriously though, like half of my posts here are apologising for never posting. I'm sure you appreciate that. No wonder I don't have a loyal readership.
I beg for your forgiveness with two great videos, both of the infamous Maury paternity tests:
In this video, after hearing that he is not the father, the man throws his hat in the woman's face. A master of classy behaviour.
I love how he doesn't just dance, he takes out a fucking tissue and waves it at the audience. It's a pretty distinguished dance for a show like Maury.
Actually, I should explain why this day is good first. Something about me is that, while I love Australia, I love it more when Australia fails in sport. Australia prides itself on being a 'sporting nation', and so professional athletes are lauded to almost hero status in the media. So whenever an Australian wins something, you never hear the end of it! When Cadel Evans won the Tour de France a few years back someone who had the audacity to suggest that he was not a national hero was flooded with hate mail. Yes, because being good at riding a bike certainly makes one a worthy role model. So whether it's Australia failing at the swimming in the 2012 Olympics or Australia ever losing a tennis match, you can be sure that I'm there, laughing at the sidelines. I seriously cannot remember the last time that I have wanted an Australian to win a sporting event. So you should realise just how pleased I was today when Australia lost all four of the tennis matches they played in the Apia International. Yes, even Aussie icon Sam Stosur lost to my new favourite tennis player (as if I had an old one) Zheng Jie. And two of them they looked like they were going to win. Ha ha ha. If schadenfreude is the lowest form of pleasure, I don't want to hear about it. Because this certainly made my day.
Thank you for giving the media nothing to report about tomorrow.
Let's face it, life is pretty expensive. Just think about the amount of money you've wasted in your life on things that aren't necessary. But that's not even the end of it, there are huge amounts of money spent on things that people would consider compulsory life events. I don't actually care what other people spend their money on, but considering that I am a person who will be going through life and may go through these events, the social norms as to how much I should spend do affect me. LET'S GO!
Being born: I'm going to skip conception, since all that takes is a bit of alcohol. Being born is very expensive, not for you (obviously) but for your family and society at large. Ignoring all of the costs associated with pregnancy, your very existence is a drain on the world. In Australia, parents get paid $5,000 to have a baby. Yep, you get paid to have children. Firstly, we do not need to incentivise people to have children, biological necessity already has that covered.
Secondly, all this does is make people have babies before they are ready. Considering the number of hoops that one needs to jump through in order to adopt children, having your own child is remarkably simple. It then follows that people will not always plan out their pregnancies, especially with this subgroup that consider abortion some unforgivable sin. Then we have people who are not ready to have children who now have children being given a huge amount of money. Brilliant idea, government.
Having children should not be rewarded. It's not just because I hate children (which I do), but its because we have too many people on Earth! We are running out of resources, and we cannot afford to keep shoving out babies at this rate, especially considering how long people are living for these days. We are fine for people at this point.
Plus, people with children are horribly entitled, as if the fact that they are a parent makes them special or deserving of extra credit. Nope, sorry. You chose to have kids, you don't get a cookie for raising kids. You are doing what is expected of you when you take on a task that billions of people throughout history have also completed. There is no reward for that.
Going to school: A proper education is of the utmost importance, if we're going to have all of these kids running around we'd better make sure they're good for something. But unfortunately school is full of things that are a huge drain on time and money. Primary school goes for ~7 years, and some people spend thousands in order to send their kids to a private primary school. But did you know that there is absolutely no way that anybody would be able to tell what sort of primary school an adult went to? It's true! Primary school is about counting and learning how to draw the letter 'a'. It does not matter where you go. And don't get me started on Catholic schools.
Secondary school is also largely pointless. I remember hours wasted on things that had no practical application to myself or society at large like: What happened in WW2, how to take photos of things, how to make pots, watching the Shawshank Redemption and watching Michael Jackson music videos. We seriously do not need to subject kids to 13 years of this crap. If school wasn't obviously just to keep children occupied until they get old enough to be useful, we could get rid of it. Reading Romeo and Juliet has not helped the anyone ever.
Going to University: This follows on from school. There is so much to do at University, and most of it is totally useless. Read: almost all social sciences. I did a semester of Sociology, it is literally just observations that everyone makes anyway, but with longer, unnecessary words. Many people get degrees and proceed to do nothing with them.
The problem is that society pushes young adults to go to University without knowing whether University is right for them or what they're good at. So many people I know had no idea what to do until right before they forced to make a decision, and how many of them will regret picking what they picked? The amount of time and money that one spends on money seems even worse considering how little degrees seem to be worth even 10 years after one gets one.
Getting married: What's the average amount that people spend on their weddings? I heard that it was around US$28,000. It boggles my mind that people would spend that much on one day. I saw a comment and somebody was implying that their $10, spent was considered cheap. They spent $3,000 on alcohol alone. What the fuck.
Maybe I'm just the wrong person to ask, as I don't see the point in getting married (or dating, for that matter). But spending tens of thousands of dollars on one event is extremely over the top. This is a problem in our society, that people can justify this sort of money sink. I would hope that the zeitgeist would shift towards more simple marriages (or none at all), but it appears that we're moving the opposite way. There should not be any way to rationalise spending this much money. No, I do not care that it is your special day. What a shit life you must have if only one day has this much worth, and considering that you'll probably get divorced anyway, what's the point?
People apparently have hundreds of people attending their weddings. Seriously, who has this many friends? The actual answer: nobody. At most one could really only a dozen or so good friends, and then a handful of family members who you actually care about. But no, for the wedding you must invite as many people as you can afford. Family members you haven't seen for years, friends you sort of know and see occasionally, plus ones and your weird step cousins who you've never seen, nobody is off limits. Is it just a need to show off, to make your big day as special as possible by having as many strangers as possible watching?
And please do not get me started on proposals. Yes, it's cute when your boyf gets a whole restaurant to play along in some stupid song, but it's annoying for everyone else. And why can't women propose, again? You know that your relationship will fail when instead of just talking about marriage like adults you resort to lame fucking hints and passive aggression.
Having your own children: I touched on this before, but one spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on children in their lifetime. Now, this isn't really a problem if you want children, as you would view the benefit as outweighing the cost, and anyway, that cost is spread of over decades (unlike a wedding, where the cost is spread over... a day). But what about those who don't really want children? Well, guess what? You get years of people asking you when you're going to be having children/why you won't be!
Luckily I am way too young to be hearing this stuff, not that I don't already know people who have had children. But I know all the stories. It's probably one of the things that I am dreading the most about being in my 30s, which I am otherwise looking forward to. Actually, I love confrontation, so it won't be so bad. I have no fear regarding telling people that their baby looks ugly.
Sidebar: I also have no problem telling people they picked a stupid name for their child. Most of these kids will have to change their names if they ever want to be taken seriously. Calling your kid Blaze or Storm is cute when they are one year old, not so cute when they are twenty five.
So my problem with pestering your friends to have children is that it is probably the biggest money/time sink in one's life. At best they will feel like they have to have children due to social convention, and that's certainly a good recipe for a loving family. If you want to spend your life creating other lives which will almost certainly be as futile as your own, be my guest. But please shut up about your children. Nobody cares that your little shit can read and he's only four. Go away.
I mentioned this before, but why is it so hard to adopt when it's so easy to have your own children? Anyone can breed, anyone at all. We should encourage adoption, as you could probably argue that with our lack of resources and the number of children without homes is is selfish to not adopt. Why is there such a stigma against telling people that they are not fit to be parents?
Being old: Yes, being old is a waste of money too. Realistically, there is no reason for the government to support seniors. One could argue that the government should only assist those who can benefit our society, and seniors have nothing to add. Of course I believe we should support our senior citizens, but is there really a rational reason for it? When we start going into debt, senior benefits should be the first thing we cut, but of course no politician would dare say that, due to the huge backlash. Another problem with democracy - it gives all the power to the uninformed majority.
Dying: Dying is surprisingly expensive. Have you seen the cost of funerals? Being cremated alone costs over $2000! You're just throwing a body into a furnace, where does all the money go? There are these ads on TV for funeral insurance, and apparently they cost so much money, even the flowers cost hundreds of dollars.
Now, I do not see the point in spending this much on funerals. Just like with weddings, I refuse to go into debt just to bury someone in a hole. Giving them a fancy funeral will not bring them back to life. My mother has said that they only have insurance in case of an accident, I told her that if she dies she's being chucked in the river. Sorry Mum, should've gotten a more comprehensive plan, eh?
Personally, I don't care what is done with me after I die. I'm dead, it doesn't matter. I won't know. I would get insurance if I had any dependants, because I wouldn't want them to deal with hassle. But I have no requests otherwise. Play whatever cheesy shit song you want, bury me whereever you want. I see it as more about helping the loved ones deal with the death rather than what the dead person wants. Seriously, they're dead. They will not know.
It's strange how that once someone dies we somehow treat them differently. I think I'll talk more about this later, maybe after some really famous person who I don't care about dies. But for the moment, I don't see why someone's death changes their status. If someone was a jerk alive, they're a jerk dead. While I celebrate the death of my enemies, I do feel for the loss of those who lost them. But come on, every one of those crazy evangelists who carks it is one less person to spew garbage in this world.
So there you are, there are the costs of living. I really just scratched the surface here, anyway. I don't think there's a lot we can really do other than trying to change the social conciousness, and what better way to do that other than writing a blog that nobody reads! Eh, it's just fun to get my feelings out there. But this is why I won't be able to have a political career, I'm just way too much of a maverick.
Television shows typically don't last too long these says, as with the sheer amount of shows that debut each year only a few typically get to make a second season. I am, personally, a big fan of shows that only ever lasted one season, but sometimes I need to bite the bullet and watch a TV show that lasted longer than one season.
After watching three episodes of this show last night, I feel that I am sufficiently informed to comment on this exciting new(-ish) TV show: Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23.
My first question is this: Why is bitch censored in the title? This is probably everybody's first question, but I think it's a legit point. It's 2012, and we're not allowed to put incredibly minor swear words in out television show titles? I don't know, it really irks me. And if you can't say bitch, then don't put it in the title! Change the name to something else! I'm docking points right from the start here. -10points
The series begins with June moving to New York from somewhere. She has an exciting new job in... business and a sweet NYC apartment to go along with it. You see, the only important thing for everyone is to move to New York and make your life as much like Friends as possible. -5 points for setting it in a city that has been used so many times before. If you must set your show in the US, why not Pittsburgh? I don't know, I always had a soft spot for Pittsburgh. But it all goes wrong for June, as her company has been closed down for corruption or something, and she now has no job or apartment (for some zany reason that only ever happens in TV shows). Stuck out in New York with no job or place to live, she decides to turn to Craigslist and find a roommate.
We get a hilarious montage of all the zany roommates that June could choose to live with (and, personally, I'd take the fat guy. He seemed entertaining), but eventually she decides to live with Chloe. This is unsurprising, as this characters face is all over the promos and whatnot. However, it turns out that not all is as at seems, as even though Chloe seems like a very nice girl, it turns out that she is really a BITCH WHO LIVES IN APARTMENT 23!
Oh, and there is also this woman who lives next door who is in love with Chloe or something. -3 points for being unable to feature an asian woman in a sitcom who is neither extremely bitter/sarcastic nor a total weirdo. Sorry, thems the breaks.
Anyway, it turns out that June lives in a world or lovable lunatics. Like every sitcom ever. There's the guy next door who watches them do stuff! Apparently he's a pervert or something, but he's too over the top to be realistic or entertaining. True perverts should be subtle. -5 points for being to OTT.
Okay, now here's another pet peeve. Why is there blurring? On a parody documentary show blurring makes sense, particularly if it's really over done (like the huge blue circle in Arrested Development), but on a regular sitcom it sort of undoes the pace. I don't know, I prefer fancy camera angles or well positioned flowers and whatnot. -10 points because I don't like the blurring (and it's not just because I'd like to see whats-her-faces nipples).
Oh, and it turns out that James Van Der Beek is in this show, playing HIMSELF! I don't actually know who James Van Der Beek is, but it turns out that he was on Dawson's Creek, a show that is a little old for me. Now, has the whole 'celebrities playing an exaggerated version of themselves' thing been overdone? It was good in Extras, but I'm not sure if we need it anymore. It's just a lazy attempt to make your show seem cool or edgy. -8 points
It turns out that Chloe's goal is to make June want to move out after taking her rent in advance. She does this by inviting her to foursomes and giving her masturbation tips. But June gets revenge on Chloe by selling all of her possessions. Yep, that's definitely a fair trade.
Some other crap happens, but I'm going to skip past it.
June is engaged (which I probably should've mentioned earlier) to a guy whose name I forget and is ultimately unimportant. I think he's a teacher or something, and he has a kid who follows him around and some other helper woman. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention. Chloe gets the kid drunk and it is revealed that June's fiance is having an affair with the helper woman, the helper woman's sister and some other women as well. It's just like a soap opera.
In order to prove to June that her fiancee is cheating on her, she seduces the fiancee and they are about to have sex before June walks in. There's yelling and stuff and someone throws a lamp. June and Chloe have a heart to heart and we are set up for many more episodes of comedy with these two ladies.
Also, +2 points because I liked the multiple mistresses thing, +2 points because I like the slow kid with the glasses, but -5 points because the end scene was stupid and cheesy. And -5 points because I can't figure out Chloe's motivations.
MISC. THOUGHTS OF EPISODES TWO AND THREE
June has a life plan that includes being married by 26 and having two children, named Mary and Chris. Life plans NEVER work, you always end up disappointed. I think the straight man being a bit neurotic and being devoted to family is a bit overdone, personally. She's like a female Jason Bateman. -2 points
Chloe sets June up on a date with her father. I'll be honest, I liked that little twist. +3 points
James Van Der Beek runs his own acting workshop, but can't detach from being Dawson. The whole 'celebrity hates being known as that one character' thing is a little tired, but the JVDB subplots are usually the funniest bits of the episode, so I can't hate it too much. -3 points for being overused, but +5 points for being used well.
June works at a coffee shop with a guy who I have yet to mention. Good on him.
June is one of those sitcom characters who doesn't have sex for ages or uses euphemisms for genitalia and whatnot. Again, these characters are used too frequently and she isn't taken in any directions or whatever. Booooooring. -5 points
Chloe pushes her dad into a cyclist. I know I skipped ahead a lot, whatever. You don't want me to spoil everything, do you?
Chloe works for the UN or something. I liked the Tagalog reference. +1 point
Chloe adopts a child to be her assistant. Child labour laws be damned!
There's a bunch of story that is theme based, about June taking on too much responsibility and Chloe not taking on enough. I'm not sure what the moral is, but I'm that the characters will all quickly forget it in order for more hijinks to be raised next episode.
I actually like the assistant girl. I'm going to dock points for not including her as a main cast member. -10 points
Other stuff happens too, and James Van Der Beek is still the best character. +5 points for his scenes in episode 3.
So, that's it for my DTTBIA23 review. It managed to gain a handsome negative 53 points. That sounds bad, but the aim is really to lose as few points as possible. If I do anymore of these, we'll see how this show adds up. But overall I liked it. It's pretty formulaic and it doesn't really add anything new but it follows the guidelines pretty well. It's never going to be a classic but I didn't feel like I'd wasted time after watching it.
David Bowie is one of the best songwriters and singers in the history of the world, and before you ask, no, I'm not one of those people who thinks that 'music died in 1989' or whatever. Great music has come out at a fairly even rate for the past 50 years or whatever. But this is not about those bands, this is about one man, and that man is David Bowie.
So in honour of this man, I will now shove his entire life's work into a short blog post ranking his musical abilities. You're welcome, Dave.
NO. 15
AFRICAN NIGHT FLIGHT
Bowie is known for three things. Dressing like a woman, having weird eyes and naming his son Zowie Bowie. But a fourth fact you may not know about him is that his music got weirder when he got OFF drugs. Seriously, the Berlin Trilogy (even though I'd put Lodger more with his 80s work) is some of his most bizarre stuff and he was totally clean. Well, except for a daily dose of vitamin Eno.
NO. 14
MODERN LOVE
I feel like I'll probably regret putting this one so low, but you know what? Life is full of regrets. But Bowie doesn't regret anything. He lives his life the way he wants it, and he wants us all to love each other. He likes partying, paperboys and rain. And long walks on the beach. But he fucking HATES that bitch Angie. If that Rolling Stones song is actually about her, I'll kill myself.
NO. 13
MOVE ON
Yep, two Lodger songs already. But that's it for Lodger. Yep, sorry, DJ, Boys Keep Swinging and Red Sails will not be appearing on this list. But Move On is. And it's a good song. With lyrics like these:
Sometimes I feel the need to move on So I pack a bag, move on
How could I not put it on the list? Okay, he might've been half assing the lyrics, but the rest is good. Actually, his singing sounds a little off too. Hmm, this list is shaping up poorly.
NO. 12
SENSE OF DOUBT
Oh no, ambient music! But this is good ambient music. It's pretty German sounding, so it fits right into the Berlin trilogy. While I'm sure that Eno probably had a pretty big hand in how this song sounds, Bowie must be credited for trying something new and evolving. Bowie has done what many artists have not, and that is reinventing himself when necessary. And this is a good reinvention, and I think it actually matches the cover art quite well. But why is the last track The Secret Life of Arabia? What a shit ending.
NO. 11
QUEEN BITCH
Me and one of my friends were pretty into Bowie for a time, and he learned how to play a few Bowie songs on guitar, and this was one of the few tracks that he could play and I could also sing. We made for quite a duet.
NO. 10
ASHES TO ASHES
Congratulations D. Bowie for having not one but two time travel television shows named after your songs! On that same point, can I mention how much I don't like the song Life on Mars. SPOILER ALERT, Life on Mars is not appearing on this list. And neither is Starman. God those two songs are overrated.
NO. 9
MOONAGE DAYDREAM
I love when Bowie played this track live, because it, along with Width of a Circle, was his COSTUME CHANGE track. Mick Ronson would start ripping into an epic guitar solo while Bowie would walk off stage and get changed into his new outfit. There wasn't even like a puff of smoke or anything, he just walked into the background.
NO. 8
BIG BROTHER
Bowie was apparently pretty into Orwell when he was writing Diamond Dogs, as the last three tracks would suggest. I'm not really sure what the rest of the album is on about, and while I'm sure some would make it out as if it was meant to be 'an album in two parts' or something, I get the feeling that Bowie got into 1984 right near the end of it and just slapped these three songs on at the end. Included in the video is Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family, as I think it and Big Brother go together nicely.
NO. 7
SUBTERRANEANS
I'm a fan of Bowie's ambient work, I think he's pretty good at it (even if it was probably mostly Eno). This track is really great, it's haunting and beautiful. I love the reversed bass, the sax, the meaningless words; they all combine to make a song with so much atmosphere and presense. Fuck me, I'm starting to sound like Pitchfork.
NO. 6
ZIGGY STARDUST
Bowie loved creating little alter egos for himself. My favourite was the Thin White Duke. Despite lasting for, like, two months and probably being the result of some cocaine bender, it was pretty classy. Ziggy Stardust is his best known creation, and the popularity of Ziggy may have haunted Bowie as he tried to pull away from Glam Rock, meaning that many Bowie fans don't care about Bowie after 74 or so. *tear*
NO. 5
MY DEATH
Even though this is just a cover, it is Bowie's performance that truly rockets this song up to greatness. I love all the extra verses he adds in. Pile of leaves, what?
NO. 4
CANDIDATE
Candidate is the second part of the musical trilogy of Sweet Thing/Candidate/Sweet Thing (reprise). I think this adds credence to my theory that Diamond Dogs is just a big muddle of different ideas and that Bowie couldn't decide on a theme. It's a good album but it definitely feels like a bit of a clusterfuck.
I actually first heard this song as a cover by this gret band called Dramarama. I had no idea that this was a Bowie song, and when I first heard the Bowie version (not knowing that I was actually familiar with it) I cried tears of blood (good ones). That particular Dramarama album (Cinema Verite) also contains a cover of Femme Fatale by the Velvet Underground. Dramarama's version sucks, but I haven't heard the VU version, so that might suck as well.
NO. 3
THE BEWLAY BROTHERS
Who are the Bewlay Brothers? No, seriously, who are they? I should probably do my research before writing this, but I wanted the facts to be from memory, and not spewed from Wikipedia. Whoever they are, this is a good song, and it's a good way to wrap up Hunky Dory, and album with a lot of songs that just didn't quite make the cut on this list.
NO. 2
BLACKOUT
This is a definite contender for best Bowie song, I'm serious. I've never heard much about this song from others, but I think it's great. It has a lot of energy and I love the guitar in it. Bowie's voice sounds a little autotuned though. GET ME OFF THE STREEUUEETS!
NO. 1
BE MY WIFE
Oh... Be My Wife. I fell in love with this song the moment I heard it. It's brilliant. The guitar in the verses, that piano hook, the apathy that Bowie sings with, it all comes together. I can't really explain too well why I love it, but when I hear it, I know why I do. I love this one particular live version of it, he sings the chorus differently than I've ever heard it. Be-huh-hee my wife.
This song is spoiled a little by the background of it, that he wrote it for that bitch Angie. He should've saved this song for Iman, but by that stage he was into more synth 80s pop shit so he would've fucked this song up. Maybe we shouldn't mess with history, you change one thing, you change them all!
Also, what Bowie is wearing in the video is my person's outfit in Minecraft. Tee hee.
=END OF LIST=
So, that's it. What'd you think? Too much of the Berlin Trilogy? As a special reward, here's the list of the songs that didn't quite make the cut:
Soul Love
Andy Warhol
Space Oddity
John, I'm Only Dancing
Oh, You Pretty Things
I Would Be Your Slave
Red Sails
Fill Your Heart
Hang onto Yourself
A New Career in a New Town
Lady Stardust
Next time I might make a top Dead Milkmen song list. That one will probably be a long one though, since I have so many favourites by them. We'll see.
Apparently this site is on StumbleUpon! If you managed to land on this site via StumbleUpon I sincerely apologise. Please continue searching, maybe the next site will feature cute pictures of cats with their heads stuck in things. Seriously though, who uses Blogspot anymore? I use many exciting sites, some of which you can find here: My Tumblr(Warning: mostly reblogged pictures) My last.fm (See what music I listen to! Riveting, I know) My Twitter (Warning: extremely dull) My Youtube (No Videos, just my favourites. In case you're stalking me, here's the full picture) And that, as they say, is that.
Welcome friends from all over the world. We all come from different walks of life, but we all have one thing in common. So today, I have a special message for all of my friends in the United States: WHY ARE YOU STILL HAVING THE GUN CONTROL DEBATE?! Every other civilised nation on Earth got over that debate years ago, and you know which way it ended up? Here's a clue, it's not in the direction that involves putting armed fucking security guards in primary schools, so that the 7 year olds can awkwardly walk past Mr. Nice Man and his giant fucking assault rifle on his way out of the classroom. And no, it also isn't in the direction that leads to one being able to buy guns from the supermarket along with your milk, eggs and bread. Here's why I cannot take the anti-gun control freaks seriously:
Firstly, the same people who love guns are also the same people who love Jesus, hate universal health care and oppose gay marriage. i.e., irrational, self-absorbed lunatics.
Secondly, they also love conspiracy theories. Gun control is always some plot by the media, or Hollywood, or the government, or the Freemasons, or the Illuminati, or the lizard people or whoever. This allows them to ignore arguments in favour of gun control and instead ride on their little persecution horse (which Christians also love to do, so it does not surprise me that there is some overlap here). There is also the insane paranoia, as there people seem to believe that once they lose their guns the government will start being able to ignore democracy or the constitution or whatever BS.
The fact that every other country with gun control has not descended into the pits of murder and government dictatorships that the pro gun lobby would make you think by their horror stories. Seriously, I live in Australia where nobody has a gun, and you know what? It's lovely. There are very few gun deaths, no large shootings since we increased gun laws and I don't walk around in fear of gunmen attacking our schools without having armed guards policing it (why would you need guards in a school, anyway? Maybe in America's fucked up schools, but over here our schools are schools, not prisons).
I may have more to say on this later, the next time there is a large shooting in America due to no changes being made to the gun laws. That'll probably be in a month or so, right? Seems on time. Hey, maybe this will descend into some sort of political blog. Wouldn't that be totally radical!? Peace.
... Yes! It's conspiracy theory time! We all know that, around the end of the year, the doomsday predictions come thick and fast. And this year, what with the Mayan calendar (a reliable source of information) ending, you cannot stop the doom! Some observations:
Any time that someone uses the phrase 'mainstream media', they can be immediately discredited as a paranoid lunatic. Yes, we get it, the mainstream media won't give any airtime to your ridiculous theory. You are not being persecuted and the media is not being controlled by the Illuminati or some shit.
On the media, why do people actually care about what the Westboro Baptist Church do? Oh, a small fringe group think that gay people should die. Um... who cares? There are like two dozen of these lunatics. I am not fazed by anything that they do, other than maybe some degree of detached amusement. And the people who say that if a god existed he/she/it wouldn't support what the WBC do, where does this come from? Who says that gods have to be just or good?
And on that note, the shootings in the US last week are not because there is no more forced prayer in schools. Please provide some evidence that this causation (not just a correlation, even if there was one) exists. And anyway, how does this work? Does God send people to shoot up schools that don't force the children to worship him or does he just not stop prospective shooters? Certainly puts into question the Christian notion of free will.
Is there really any actual war on Christmas? I celebrate Christmas. And what does Christmas mean to me? I get to spend time with my family, exchange gifts, eat good food and just relax. It is a nice way to end the year and put whatever happened into perspective while we gear up for the next year. If Christmas didn't exist, we would invent a holiday like it (which we did before Christmas existed, anyway). Christmas is essentially a secular holiday now, anyway, it's really just the name that Christians cling to. And just because we use a name, that doesn't mean that any extra meaning behind that name must always stick with it? The names of the days of the week, anyone?
While I'm on the topic of religion, I was talking to a friend the other day and he was interested in buying some bibles and whatnot and studying up on Christianity (and other religions) in order to be prepared if he ever fell into a discussion with a Christian. Now, do we have an obligation to be familiar with Christianity before dismissing it? I don't think so, as there are many things that we don't believe without needing an understanding of the topic; for example, for the religious, the vast majority aren't familiar with every other religion on the planet, does that mean they are not justified in believing there's exclusively? Of course not. I'm familiar with almost ever pro-religion argument there is, I don't need to be intimate with the bible to know that it is bollocks. If there was real truth to it, then wouldn't it be indisputable that a god exists? Why else does almost everyone credible dispute the validity of the bible?
I cut myself shaving 4 hours ago, why am I still fucking bleeding? Maybe I'll just put a bandaid on my face. And then tape my broken glasses together.
Let's move on, shall we?
It is Christmas, and because of that, I have bought gifts! Luckily, my family are very predictable, and I can thus get them similar gifts each year. Dad gets a book on lighthouses, Mum gets candles and Steph gets a kitten desk calendar. So easy. Feel the love. So, that's about it. Dangas is having a 20th birthday party tomorrow night which I'm going to, I'm not sure how many other people are going to turn up... It may just be Dangas, his girlfriend and myself. Or maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. It's an hour long trip on the train so it had better be worth it. Daniel also fancies himself as an amateur bartender, so for his birthday I bought him a book on bartending, it comes with over 1500 drink recipes! He's actually getting pretty good at it, he has all the equipment and stuff. He has certainly come a long way from the days of all his drinks consisting of whatever we could scavenge from around Oliver's dad's house (read: milk and and vodka, iced tea and vodka, cordial and vodka... you get the idea).
This is his drinks cabinet. It fucking glows and changes colour.
Here's a fun drinking story. The first time I ever got drunk was at a 2010/11 new years party (I know, but drinking as a teenager KILLS BRAIN CELLS. Or something. I didn't start drinking until way past everyone else had, and well after my friend's mother had a 'wardrobe malfunction'. So I started drinking vodka straight out of the bottle (ooh, tough guy, huh?) and it turns out that drunk me is pretty similar to sober me, but dizzier and about 10% more extreme. My friend's 'Uncle' Mark (the responsible adult, who looked like a member of the Rolling Stones) took us around the streets as we rang people's doorbells then ran away, which may have been the first time anyone did that since a Dennis the fucking Menace cartoon in the 50s. We got back home and we were chilling in the lounge when it turned out I needed to throw up. I shambled over to the door, as we were warned not to throw up on the carpet. I struggled opening the door but luckily managed to open it just in time as I preceded to puke on the pavement just outside the door. No, I couldn't be bothered walking 10 feet to the bushes, the pavement was fine. I came back in but left shortly to go throw up again, where I got a nice pep talk from Uncle Mark about... something, I don't remember. I'm sure it was heartfelt. Uncle Mark then let me sleep outside on a pool chair, being covered by a small towel, where I preceded to get stung by mosquitoes about 100 times in the night. Responsible. Luckily I was not hungover, but had the taste of vodka in my mouth for the next 24 hours. And Uncle Mark had an asthma attack the next morning and had to go hospital.
Hmm, that story was actually really boring. Oh yeah, it was a toga party too. I wore a horrible, massive sheet. You had to have been there. I don't have many other drinking stories, one time I got set on fire and it made a hole in my work pants, that was it though. I have some stories of some of my other lunatic friends, but I'll save them for another time (I'll probably have to change the names too in those ones).
Oh, and I totally dominated in my exams. Who says you need to 'study' or 'prepare'? Just imagine how far I could go if I actually applied myself. ~FUNCOLOURSFUN~ See ya.
