David Bowie is one of the best songwriters and singers in the history of the world, and before you ask, no, I'm not one of those people who thinks that 'music died in 1989' or whatever. Great music has come out at a fairly even rate for the past 50 years or whatever. But this is not about those bands, this is about one man, and that man is David Bowie.
So in honour of this man, I will now shove his entire life's work into a short blog post ranking his musical abilities. You're welcome, Dave.
NO. 15
AFRICAN NIGHT FLIGHT
Bowie is known for three things. Dressing like a woman, having weird eyes and naming his son Zowie Bowie. But a fourth fact you may not know about him is that his music got weirder when he got OFF drugs. Seriously, the Berlin Trilogy (even though I'd put Lodger more with his 80s work) is some of his most bizarre stuff and he was totally clean. Well, except for a daily dose of vitamin Eno.
NO. 14
MODERN LOVE
I feel like I'll probably regret putting this one so low, but you know what? Life is full of regrets. But Bowie doesn't regret anything. He lives his life the way he wants it, and he wants us all to love each other. He likes partying, paperboys and rain. And long walks on the beach. But he fucking HATES that bitch Angie. If that Rolling Stones song is actually about her, I'll kill myself.
NO. 13
MOVE ON
Yep, two Lodger songs already. But that's it for Lodger. Yep, sorry, DJ, Boys Keep Swinging and Red Sails will not be appearing on this list. But Move On is. And it's a good song. With lyrics like these:
Sometimes I feel the need to move on
So I pack a bag, move on
How could I not put it on the list? Okay, he might've been half assing the lyrics, but the rest is good. Actually, his singing sounds a little off too. Hmm, this list is shaping up poorly.
So I pack a bag, move on
How could I not put it on the list? Okay, he might've been half assing the lyrics, but the rest is good. Actually, his singing sounds a little off too. Hmm, this list is shaping up poorly.
NO. 12
SENSE OF DOUBT
Oh no, ambient music! But this is good ambient music. It's pretty German sounding, so it fits right into the Berlin trilogy. While I'm sure that Eno probably had a pretty big hand in how this song sounds, Bowie must be credited for trying something new and evolving. Bowie has done what many artists have not, and that is reinventing himself when necessary. And this is a good reinvention, and I think it actually matches the cover art quite well. But why is the last track The Secret Life of Arabia? What a shit ending.
NO. 11
QUEEN BITCH
Me and one of my friends were pretty into Bowie for a time, and he learned how to play a few Bowie songs on guitar, and this was one of the few tracks that he could play and I could also sing. We made for quite a duet.
NO. 10
ASHES TO ASHES
Congratulations D. Bowie for having not one but two time travel television shows named after your songs! On that same point, can I mention how much I don't like the song Life on Mars. SPOILER ALERT, Life on Mars is not appearing on this list. And neither is Starman. God those two songs are overrated.
NO. 9
MOONAGE DAYDREAM
I love when Bowie played this track live, because it, along with Width of a Circle, was his COSTUME CHANGE track. Mick Ronson would start ripping into an epic guitar solo while Bowie would walk off stage and get changed into his new outfit. There wasn't even like a puff of smoke or anything, he just walked into the background.
NO. 8
BIG BROTHER
Bowie was apparently pretty into Orwell when he was writing Diamond Dogs, as the last three tracks would suggest. I'm not really sure what the rest of the album is on about, and while I'm sure some would make it out as if it was meant to be 'an album in two parts' or something, I get the feeling that Bowie got into 1984 right near the end of it and just slapped these three songs on at the end. Included in the video is Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family, as I think it and Big Brother go together nicely.
NO. 7
SUBTERRANEANS
I'm a fan of Bowie's ambient work, I think he's pretty good at it (even if it was probably mostly Eno). This track is really great, it's haunting and beautiful. I love the reversed bass, the sax, the meaningless words; they all combine to make a song with so much atmosphere and presense. Fuck me, I'm starting to sound like Pitchfork.
NO. 6
ZIGGY STARDUST
Bowie loved creating little alter egos for himself. My favourite was the Thin White Duke. Despite lasting for, like, two months and probably being the result of some cocaine bender, it was pretty classy. Ziggy Stardust is his best known creation, and the popularity of Ziggy may have haunted Bowie as he tried to pull away from Glam Rock, meaning that many Bowie fans don't care about Bowie after 74 or so. *tear*
NO. 5
MY DEATH
Even though this is just a cover, it is Bowie's performance that truly rockets this song up to greatness. I love all the extra verses he adds in. Pile of leaves, what?
NO. 4
CANDIDATE
Candidate is the second part of the musical trilogy of Sweet Thing/Candidate/Sweet Thing (reprise). I think this adds credence to my theory that Diamond Dogs is just a big muddle of different ideas and that Bowie couldn't decide on a theme. It's a good album but it definitely feels like a bit of a clusterfuck.
I actually first heard this song as a cover by this gret band called Dramarama. I had no idea that this was a Bowie song, and when I first heard the Bowie version (not knowing that I was actually familiar with it) I cried tears of blood (good ones). That particular Dramarama album (Cinema Verite) also contains a cover of Femme Fatale by the Velvet Underground. Dramarama's version sucks, but I haven't heard the VU version, so that might suck as well.
NO. 3
THE BEWLAY BROTHERS
Who are the Bewlay Brothers? No, seriously, who are they? I should probably do my research before writing this, but I wanted the facts to be from memory, and not spewed from Wikipedia. Whoever they are, this is a good song, and it's a good way to wrap up Hunky Dory, and album with a lot of songs that just didn't quite make the cut on this list.
NO. 2
BLACKOUT
This is a definite contender for best Bowie song, I'm serious. I've never heard much about this song from others, but I think it's great. It has a lot of energy and I love the guitar in it. Bowie's voice sounds a little autotuned though. GET ME OFF THE STREEUUEETS!
NO. 1
BE MY WIFE
Oh... Be My Wife. I fell in love with this song the moment I heard it. It's brilliant. The guitar in the verses, that piano hook, the apathy that Bowie sings with, it all comes together. I can't really explain too well why I love it, but when I hear it, I know why I do. I love this one particular live version of it, he sings the chorus differently than I've ever heard it. Be-huh-hee my wife.
This song is spoiled a little by the background of it, that he wrote it for that bitch Angie. He should've saved this song for Iman, but by that stage he was into more synth 80s pop shit so he would've fucked this song up. Maybe we shouldn't mess with history, you change one thing, you change them all!
Also, what Bowie is wearing in the video is my person's outfit in Minecraft. Tee hee.
=END OF LIST=
So, that's it. What'd you think? Too much of the Berlin Trilogy? As a special reward, here's the list of the songs that didn't quite make the cut:
Soul Love
Andy Warhol
Space Oddity
John, I'm Only Dancing
Oh, You Pretty Things
I Would Be Your Slave
Red Sails
Fill Your Heart
Hang onto Yourself
A New Career in a New Town
Lady Stardust
Next time I might make a top Dead Milkmen song list. That one will probably be a long one though, since I have so many favourites by them. We'll see.
Have a good new year!
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